The Skeptical Optimist: Eyes-free reading: Highly recommended: "I bought an iPod Shuffle, and after just a few days, I’m hooked—even though I haven’t downloaded song number one yet. Come to think of it, I might never download any music to it. Reason: I’d rather listen to Russ Roberts interview Milton Friedman while I’m outside walking, or driving to the store. It’s eyes-free reading, using a little device that clips onto my shirt, and it’s a great new invention. [What'll they think of next?]
I’m quickly finding out there’s a podcast (mp3 file) on just about any subject "
Monday, December 11, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Hog On Ice
Hog On Ice: "I've never gotten much attention from women to begin with except when they wanted things, so it's not that traumatic to be reminded that my only hope of hooking up is to find someone as old and gross as myself and tape a photo of Aisha Tyler on the headboard in order to get through sex. But I can understand why men like George Clooney spazz out when they hit 40. One minute, the nookie faucet is pouring full blast, and the next, they can see Father Time's hand turning the valve clockwise. Then the flow slows to a trickle, and then it's just drops, and after that, you're on your face licking the bottom of the tub, mumbling, 'My house is paid for! I have a Porsche!'
I guess athletes have it the worst. Especially college athletes who aren't good enough to go pro. While they're playing, women will literally beg to have sex with them. But on graduation day that all comes to an end, and for the first time in their lives, they find out what it's like to get shot down most of the time. Like the rest of us.
I think I'm going to start wearing plaid Bermudas and dark brown socks. And a crappy little straw hat, like Matt Drudge. It's time to dress my age. The one positive about being so old is that my liver spots may get so big they merge into a bitchin' tan.
I need to start dating a lady who has Oil of Olay on her dresser and takes Boniva. A lady with a great big Caesarean scar and a wide, amorphous rear end from having five babies for someone else. With a prescription for lubricant, to reduce the squeaking noises. Someone with kids old enough to drive but younger than my oldest pair of shoes.
I'll tell you what. I am never going inside a club where young people are dancing again, as long as I live. Watching them makes me feel like Ebenezer Scrooge, staring at his own headstone. Anyway, banning myself from clubs is not a big sacrifice. I swore off clubs a couple of years ago when I vowed never to dance again unless a poisonous snake crawled up my pants leg.
Where can I learn how to play shuffleboard? Is it too late to start lessons? They'll probably make me get a doctor's note saying it's safe for me to play.
Oh, man. Pick me out a nice retirement condo, because here I come."
I guess athletes have it the worst. Especially college athletes who aren't good enough to go pro. While they're playing, women will literally beg to have sex with them. But on graduation day that all comes to an end, and for the first time in their lives, they find out what it's like to get shot down most of the time. Like the rest of us.
I think I'm going to start wearing plaid Bermudas and dark brown socks. And a crappy little straw hat, like Matt Drudge. It's time to dress my age. The one positive about being so old is that my liver spots may get so big they merge into a bitchin' tan.
I need to start dating a lady who has Oil of Olay on her dresser and takes Boniva. A lady with a great big Caesarean scar and a wide, amorphous rear end from having five babies for someone else. With a prescription for lubricant, to reduce the squeaking noises. Someone with kids old enough to drive but younger than my oldest pair of shoes.
I'll tell you what. I am never going inside a club where young people are dancing again, as long as I live. Watching them makes me feel like Ebenezer Scrooge, staring at his own headstone. Anyway, banning myself from clubs is not a big sacrifice. I swore off clubs a couple of years ago when I vowed never to dance again unless a poisonous snake crawled up my pants leg.
Where can I learn how to play shuffleboard? Is it too late to start lessons? They'll probably make me get a doctor's note saying it's safe for me to play.
Oh, man. Pick me out a nice retirement condo, because here I come."
Friday, December 08, 2006
Grouchy Old Cripple
Grouchy Old Cripple: "In 1941, the press was on our side.
In 1941, America saw the problem and united to fix it.
In 1941, the American people were willing to sacrifice to defeat our enemies.
In 1941 Dimocrats were on our side.
In 1941 Dimocrats did not meet with our wartime enemies like they did before and have done since.
In 1941, we actually charged people with treason for aiding and abetting the enemy. Jane Fonda should have been tried and executed. There are others.
In 1941 we did not have Michael Moore.
In 1941 we did not have Barbra Streisand.
In 1941 we did not have Jimmah Carter.
In 1941 we did not have CAIR.
In 1941 we actually had a wartime president and not someone who has become a surrender monkey.
In 1941 we actually had a wartime Congress who realized who our enemies were and were willing to fight them. A pox on both parties and a pox on the American people for not demanding more out of our elected officials. We are the strongest country in the world and we have this bullshit blue ribbon Iraq Study Group panel saying we need to cut and run and negotiate with two pissant countries like Iran and Syria. Fah! It makes me sick to my stomach!
In 1941 we did not have political correctness and multiculturism, also know as national suicide.
In 1941 American History and love of country was actually taught in the public school system, not this stupid PC multiculturist socialist bullshit!
In 1941 there was no American Idol or Survivor, so WWII was actually more important than some asshole getting voted off some Third World island.
In 1941 France had already surrendered, so that proves some things haven't changed.
In 1941 things looked worse that they did on 9/11 and we decided to wage war to win no matter what the cost.
In 1941 the Dimocrats had FDR. In 2000 they had Algore. In 2004 they had Ketchup Boy. In 2008 they'll have Hillary Clinton. FDR was a socialist, but he did wage war to win. None of those would. Maybe if Hillary has some hot flashes she might take it out on Iran. I'm not leting Bush off the hook. I believe we should have gone into Iraq. We won the war and lost the peace. The turning point was first Fallujah when we let the Mullah with the bad teeth live. The only way to win a war is to totally crush the opposition.
So yeah, 65 years after Pearl Harbor America has changed. We no longer want to defeat our enemies. We want to make nice. We want to find out why they hate us. We want to fix the 'root cause' of the problems our enemies have with us. Here's the fucking 'root cause'. They hate us and they want to kill us. We want to help them."
In 1941, America saw the problem and united to fix it.
In 1941, the American people were willing to sacrifice to defeat our enemies.
In 1941 Dimocrats were on our side.
In 1941 Dimocrats did not meet with our wartime enemies like they did before and have done since.
In 1941, we actually charged people with treason for aiding and abetting the enemy. Jane Fonda should have been tried and executed. There are others.
In 1941 we did not have Michael Moore.
In 1941 we did not have Barbra Streisand.
In 1941 we did not have Jimmah Carter.
In 1941 we did not have CAIR.
In 1941 we actually had a wartime president and not someone who has become a surrender monkey.
In 1941 we actually had a wartime Congress who realized who our enemies were and were willing to fight them. A pox on both parties and a pox on the American people for not demanding more out of our elected officials. We are the strongest country in the world and we have this bullshit blue ribbon Iraq Study Group panel saying we need to cut and run and negotiate with two pissant countries like Iran and Syria. Fah! It makes me sick to my stomach!
In 1941 we did not have political correctness and multiculturism, also know as national suicide.
In 1941 American History and love of country was actually taught in the public school system, not this stupid PC multiculturist socialist bullshit!
In 1941 there was no American Idol or Survivor, so WWII was actually more important than some asshole getting voted off some Third World island.
In 1941 France had already surrendered, so that proves some things haven't changed.
In 1941 things looked worse that they did on 9/11 and we decided to wage war to win no matter what the cost.
In 1941 the Dimocrats had FDR. In 2000 they had Algore. In 2004 they had Ketchup Boy. In 2008 they'll have Hillary Clinton. FDR was a socialist, but he did wage war to win. None of those would. Maybe if Hillary has some hot flashes she might take it out on Iran. I'm not leting Bush off the hook. I believe we should have gone into Iraq. We won the war and lost the peace. The turning point was first Fallujah when we let the Mullah with the bad teeth live. The only way to win a war is to totally crush the opposition.
So yeah, 65 years after Pearl Harbor America has changed. We no longer want to defeat our enemies. We want to make nice. We want to find out why they hate us. We want to fix the 'root cause' of the problems our enemies have with us. Here's the fucking 'root cause'. They hate us and they want to kill us. We want to help them."
Thursday, December 07, 2006
CHARMING, JUST CHARMING: PORCH MUSINGS
CHARMING, JUST CHARMING: PORCH MUSINGS Complimenting Wives!!!
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Patterico’s Pontifications
Patterico’s Pontifications:
"Monday’s child is fair of face,
Tuesday’s child is full of grace,
Wednesday’s child is full of woe,
Thursday’s child has far to go.
Friday’s child is loving and giving,
Saturday’s child works hard for a living,
But the child born on the Sabbath Day,
Is fair and wise and good and gay."
"Monday’s child is fair of face,
Tuesday’s child is full of grace,
Wednesday’s child is full of woe,
Thursday’s child has far to go.
Friday’s child is loving and giving,
Saturday’s child works hard for a living,
But the child born on the Sabbath Day,
Is fair and wise and good and gay."
confabulation
confabulation: "1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?"
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?"
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